"The Sizzling QPR Managerial Hot Seat"

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Guardian/Barry Glendenning
- guardian.co.uk's tea-time take on the world of football The Sizzling QPR Managerial Hot Seat Barry Glendenning
- SMART HART?
When Queens Park Rangers announced that Paul Hart had been installed as their new manager at 10am this morning, the Fiver had a fair idea what today's main story would be: a few paragraphs about how it all went pear-shaped for the former Pompey boss by 10.07am, followed by idle speculation about who'd replace him in the wake of his dismissal at 10.08am. But in an unprecedented show of Fiver inaccuracy, Hart is already firmly on course to becoming the longest-serving of the nine men who've briefly warmed their buttocks on the sizzling Loftus Road managerial hot seat since pot-bellied Italian stallion Flavio Briatore and his goblin sidekick Bernie Ecclestone invested in the club in August 2007.

"We've got a strong squad of players and we feel we might cause a bit of damage in the Championship," said Hart, whose quest to wreak havoc will be aided by the presence of former Luton Town manager and one-man wrecking-ball Mick Harford alongside him in the dugout. "I am here for a short period," added Hart, who signed a six-month contract but already has one eye focused on the Sky Sports News Yellow Ticker Of Doom for the revelation that he's been sacked.

Hart takes over at Loftus Road from Jim Magilton, who parted company with QPR last night by "mutual consent" that appears to have been a lot more mutual on Briatore's part than it was on that of the former Norn Iron One Nil international. Magilton had been suspended from the club in the wake of an alleged dressing-room bust-up with midfielder Akos Buzasky who, it's claimed, was nutted in the face by Magilton, despite showing none of the tell-tale signs – two black eyes and pints of claret gushing from a broken nose – that feature on the Fiver's visage when we've been on the receiving end of our weekly Saturday-night assault outside the kebab house. Magilton denies any wrongdoing.

"The club would like to wish both [insert name of recently fired manager here] and [insert name of recently fired assistant manager here] good luck in the future and thank them for their hard work," droned the overworked template QPR use for announcing their managerial departures, shortly before a receptionist filled in the blanks and stuck it on the interweb last night." Guardian